Where did I find this link? I can't remember. Maybe it's because I'm a snot factory. Anyway, check out Readprint. It's an online library of public domain books. But free. Perhaps I'll try reading Ulysses. Yeah, right. It's the snot talking, err, I mean, typing. We internet junkies spend enough time in front of computers.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Who wants to lug around a copy of War and Peace anyway?
Where did I find this link? I can't remember. Maybe it's because I'm a snot factory. Anyway, check out Readprint. It's an online library of public domain books. But free. Perhaps I'll try reading Ulysses. Yeah, right. It's the snot talking, err, I mean, typing. We internet junkies spend enough time in front of computers.
Where did I find this link? I can't remember. Maybe it's because I'm a snot factory. Anyway, check out Readprint. It's an online library of public domain books. But free. Perhaps I'll try reading Ulysses. Yeah, right. It's the snot talking, err, I mean, typing. We internet junkies spend enough time in front of computers.
Monday, May 03, 2004
Ugh
Sick. Suited. Sore throated. Tied. Congested.
Medical conference. All day. Board meetings. No sleep. Need sleep. Birthday party on Saturday night. E-mail this man for info.
Sick. Suited. Sore throated. Tied. Congested.
Medical conference. All day. Board meetings. No sleep. Need sleep. Birthday party on Saturday night. E-mail this man for info.
Friday, April 30, 2004
I still think farting is funny
Walter the Farting Dog
Captain Underpants
Zombie Butts from Uranus
"You gotta give kids something they want to read," says Murray, who firmly believes that his smelly but well-meaning protagonist has become an ambassador for literacy.
[via CNN]
Walter the Farting Dog
Captain Underpants
Zombie Butts from Uranus
"You gotta give kids something they want to read," says Murray, who firmly believes that his smelly but well-meaning protagonist has become an ambassador for literacy.
[via CNN]
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Gimme that ruler, you, you schoolmarm
There is something terribly wrong with this title: Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.
It gives me spine-tingling shivers. Someone forgot her six-inch coke-bottle glasses on the the day they were reviewing printer's proofs. Isn't that right, Ms. Truss?
There is something terribly wrong with this title: Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.
It gives me spine-tingling shivers. Someone forgot her six-inch coke-bottle glasses on the the day they were reviewing printer's proofs. Isn't that right, Ms. Truss?
It all started at The Library
Green. My wristband's green, I replied to Moe the bouncer. I was downstairs at Southpaw—JL! Philly's American Altitude was slated for later in the evening. I had already been drinking for free, thanks to Jess. I was on the guest list now. This meant unlimited free Rheingold. I love free beer. I love Rheingold. The Stife-ateer can attest.
You're the guy that's getting married? said a guy in another band. I had told Josh, Am Alt's bassist and mandolin player and a college roommate, that I was engaged to a girl I met in January. The whole band was psyched at the news. Now all the billed bands knew. A jay was thrust at me by the guy who drums for the Black Crows. I passed.
Yeah. She just walked in my door—true story. I was well on my way to full-on inebriation.
And the best part. The best part was Am Alt finally raised their vocal levels. Crisp Raucous Mountain Music. Amazing.
When I stumbled into Jessie's Lefferts Gardens digs drunk and clumsily undressing in the kitchen, there were pluots (kudos to Tien and Abby), that hybrid of plums and apricots, on the counter.
***
And since I can't work the other word into context (thank you, hangover gods), here it is:
RINOS: (n) Republican in name only. A member of the Republican party who is viewed as being too liberal.
Green. My wristband's green, I replied to Moe the bouncer. I was downstairs at Southpaw—JL! Philly's American Altitude was slated for later in the evening. I had already been drinking for free, thanks to Jess. I was on the guest list now. This meant unlimited free Rheingold. I love free beer. I love Rheingold. The Stife-ateer can attest.
You're the guy that's getting married? said a guy in another band. I had told Josh, Am Alt's bassist and mandolin player and a college roommate, that I was engaged to a girl I met in January. The whole band was psyched at the news. Now all the billed bands knew. A jay was thrust at me by the guy who drums for the Black Crows. I passed.
Yeah. She just walked in my door—true story. I was well on my way to full-on inebriation.
And the best part. The best part was Am Alt finally raised their vocal levels. Crisp Raucous Mountain Music. Amazing.
When I stumbled into Jessie's Lefferts Gardens digs drunk and clumsily undressing in the kitchen, there were pluots (kudos to Tien and Abby), that hybrid of plums and apricots, on the counter.
***
And since I can't work the other word into context (thank you, hangover gods), here it is:
RINOS: (n) Republican in name only. A member of the Republican party who is viewed as being too liberal.
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
I want to be a better pedant
The Guardian Unlimited has a short piece by Zoe Williams on the suddenly hip subject of grammar. Unfortunately I don't think bed-headed hipsters will latch onto this trend as easily as they did trucker hats, which, incidentally, I wore as 13-year-old skater punk—fifteen years ago. (That was the same year Mr. Farinas, English teacher extraordinaprick, had me stand in front of the class and rattle off preprositions until I had all of them memorized.) Perhaps in fifteen years this blight of youth will get hip to timeliness and how un-sexy it is to use "like" improperly. I digress.
The burgeoning interest in proper usage is due largely to Lynn Truss' Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. Here's Truss' Top 10 books for wordsmiths. And I only have the Strunk & White. Man, I suck.
Don't forget, pluots and RINOs are still open to your sassy deconstructive defining.
The Guardian Unlimited has a short piece by Zoe Williams on the suddenly hip subject of grammar. Unfortunately I don't think bed-headed hipsters will latch onto this trend as easily as they did trucker hats, which, incidentally, I wore as 13-year-old skater punk—fifteen years ago. (That was the same year Mr. Farinas, English teacher extraordinaprick, had me stand in front of the class and rattle off preprositions until I had all of them memorized.) Perhaps in fifteen years this blight of youth will get hip to timeliness and how un-sexy it is to use "like" improperly. I digress.
The burgeoning interest in proper usage is due largely to Lynn Truss' Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. Here's Truss' Top 10 books for wordsmiths. And I only have the Strunk & White. Man, I suck.
Don't forget, pluots and RINOs are still open to your sassy deconstructive defining.
Monday, April 26, 2004
Some words for you
It seems my readers have forgotten that all underline words are up for definitions. No worries. I've decided to remove them from long entries and post them in smaller formats. Here's a sentence with two words up for grabs.
In an pitiful effort to deflect attention from a proposed fat tax, RINOs began to tout the benefits of pluots.
Have fun. And no cheating.
It seems my readers have forgotten that all underline words are up for definitions. No worries. I've decided to remove them from long entries and post them in smaller formats. Here's a sentence with two words up for grabs.
In an pitiful effort to deflect attention from a proposed fat tax, RINOs began to tout the benefits of pluots.
Have fun. And no cheating.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
This just in: individuals who put stock in retrospective case studies, even as novelty, probably believe it is scientifically possible to determine death due to second-hand smoke
This is just absurd. But what about bloggers?
[Thanks to Jimmy Legs for the heads up.]
This is just absurd. But what about bloggers?
[Thanks to Jimmy Legs for the heads up.]
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
When rules free you
Bookslut has a insightful and demystifying interview with New Formalist poet Molly Peacock, who was one of the founders of the MTA's Poetry in Motion series. I first came across her work in a Lit Theory class as an undergrad. Her play with form and language made me hot and opened my eyes to the world beyond often-blaise free verse. Here's an excerpt:
I started the process of teaching myself when I was in graduate school and I thought, god, I don’t know what a line is. Why do you break a line here as opposed to there? And I thought, there has to be some formal implications of this that no one will tell me. Everyone was just telling me—well, this is an interesting break—but what does that mean? What if I thought about lines, how would I do that? So the only kind of whole line that I knew was iambic pentameter and I didn’t know how to do that so I just started counting to ten, that’s a start.
Bookslut has a insightful and demystifying interview with New Formalist poet Molly Peacock, who was one of the founders of the MTA's Poetry in Motion series. I first came across her work in a Lit Theory class as an undergrad. Her play with form and language made me hot and opened my eyes to the world beyond often-blaise free verse. Here's an excerpt:
I started the process of teaching myself when I was in graduate school and I thought, god, I don’t know what a line is. Why do you break a line here as opposed to there? And I thought, there has to be some formal implications of this that no one will tell me. Everyone was just telling me—well, this is an interesting break—but what does that mean? What if I thought about lines, how would I do that? So the only kind of whole line that I knew was iambic pentameter and I didn’t know how to do that so I just started counting to ten, that’s a start.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
While waiting for the downtown train, Simon looks down
The blackened spots of spat-out gum, worn down by foot traffic and poor attempts at removal by MTA employees, were islands. Archipelagos, Simon thought. This one an atoll, That one a mangled digit, like Long Island, which was similar in dimension to his native island, the one he had been whisked away from shortly after birth, that one that existed only in his dreams. And that one, the one in the shadow of the black subway trash can, was home to a lone castaway years ago catapulted upon its Lilliputian mass by an undetected squall. Regardless of the castaway’s technologically marvelous but poorly constructed craft, GPS, sonar, all the newfangled gadgetry—he even had a videophone—just wasn’t enough. Sometimes a good old-fashioned whooping’ comes out of nowhere.
The castaway’s name was Simon, but not like the archipelagicallly thoughtful Simon whose surname was Martin. This Simon, the island-bound one, was Simon Saiz. Saiz’s boat, a modern yacht with all the advanced LEDs and flashy icons had been totaled since, since, forever, man. The hardware, for the most party, was salvageable. Hope was on the island. Except for one minor detail. Simon never read the user’s manuals, didn’t know squat about electronics. He had others do that kind of stuff for him. He had the time, though. There’s hope enough in that, Simon Saiz.
This one’s a continent, the flecks of dirt the dreams of its microbial citizenry toiling away for a government seated phatasmagorically far from those it serves.
Oh, Simon, is this the limit of your universe? Beyond the subway system, there be lions? Nope. I’m not afraid of the invisible ferocious. I’m not afraid of being seen.
But you avert your eyes, change directions when you spy an old high school or college acquaintance. So? What’s it to you? That was another country. Dude, I’ve migrated. I’ve crossed the time-life line. I no longer dance the white male indie rocker dance. You know, the head-bopping, torso-swaying, feet firmly frozen dance? See, new clothes. Nice clothes, not the moth-munched thrift-store tripe of yore.
Bullshit, Simon. You pull off the shit on the subway, that "bopping," as you call it. Different. Headphones. I’m on the train, not at a concert. Different.
Oh, Simon.
Simon wished he could shrink himself with some pocket-sized ray and leap, jete from island to island, dine with Saiz, leap and leap away sated in time to re-enlarge himself and hop on the train home.
The blackened spots of spat-out gum, worn down by foot traffic and poor attempts at removal by MTA employees, were islands. Archipelagos, Simon thought. This one an atoll, That one a mangled digit, like Long Island, which was similar in dimension to his native island, the one he had been whisked away from shortly after birth, that one that existed only in his dreams. And that one, the one in the shadow of the black subway trash can, was home to a lone castaway years ago catapulted upon its Lilliputian mass by an undetected squall. Regardless of the castaway’s technologically marvelous but poorly constructed craft, GPS, sonar, all the newfangled gadgetry—he even had a videophone—just wasn’t enough. Sometimes a good old-fashioned whooping’ comes out of nowhere.
The castaway’s name was Simon, but not like the archipelagicallly thoughtful Simon whose surname was Martin. This Simon, the island-bound one, was Simon Saiz. Saiz’s boat, a modern yacht with all the advanced LEDs and flashy icons had been totaled since, since, forever, man. The hardware, for the most party, was salvageable. Hope was on the island. Except for one minor detail. Simon never read the user’s manuals, didn’t know squat about electronics. He had others do that kind of stuff for him. He had the time, though. There’s hope enough in that, Simon Saiz.
This one’s a continent, the flecks of dirt the dreams of its microbial citizenry toiling away for a government seated phatasmagorically far from those it serves.
Oh, Simon, is this the limit of your universe? Beyond the subway system, there be lions? Nope. I’m not afraid of the invisible ferocious. I’m not afraid of being seen.
But you avert your eyes, change directions when you spy an old high school or college acquaintance. So? What’s it to you? That was another country. Dude, I’ve migrated. I’ve crossed the time-life line. I no longer dance the white male indie rocker dance. You know, the head-bopping, torso-swaying, feet firmly frozen dance? See, new clothes. Nice clothes, not the moth-munched thrift-store tripe of yore.
Bullshit, Simon. You pull off the shit on the subway, that "bopping," as you call it. Different. Headphones. I’m on the train, not at a concert. Different.
Oh, Simon.
Simon wished he could shrink himself with some pocket-sized ray and leap, jete from island to island, dine with Saiz, leap and leap away sated in time to re-enlarge himself and hop on the train home.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
Cheesecake and circadian rhythms
My chronotypes have shifted. I've become a morning person. Yesterday is evidence of this. After walking early and ambling about SoHo and Chinatown, gorging myself at the Cheesecake Challenge (more about that later) and hoofing it to Hacienda Jimmy Legs y MRK for a backyard barbeque, I zonked out before 11 pm.
Did that have anything to do with day? Don't think so. I walk most places. Then again, it's not everyday I act the part of a cheesecake junkie, err, I mean, gourmand. A bevy of NYC bloggers gathered at Corie's Park Slope apartment for the gluttonous act of determining the city's best cheesecake. Beside's Jimmy Legs, I only knew those present through their blogs. The panel of experts included Tien, Dahlia, Sam, Laid-off Dad and Linus. And how sweet it was.
A dozen or so samples were laid across a table for us oh-so scientific vultures to swoop down upon. We lacked empiricism and rubrics, yes, rubrics, one of the topics of conversation (another, tax codes) on what was one of the first beautiful days of the season—our tastebuds nothwithstanding. I was enamored with the Monteleone cake, light and airy with the sensual taste of ricotta. My pineapple submission was, of course, my second favorite. Alas, the pineapple cheesecake schlepped from Astoria only received one vote, and it wasn't even mine. (The Cake Man Raven sample, brought by Mr. Legs, came out on top.) I didn't get to vote, as Jessie and I ducked out early to go engagement ring shopping at Clay Pot. Jessie found one, by the way, and quickly turned to finding me a wedding band. Of course, I don't care what my ring looks like as long as Dollface is happy.
More on the Cheesecake Challenge:
Corie onThe Results Are In
Tien on Cheesecake Challenge
Linus on Smile and Say “Cheesecake”
Joe on The Cheesecake Challenge!
Jimmy Legs on You got served
And the reason why we stuffed ourselves here.
My chronotypes have shifted. I've become a morning person. Yesterday is evidence of this. After walking early and ambling about SoHo and Chinatown, gorging myself at the Cheesecake Challenge (more about that later) and hoofing it to Hacienda Jimmy Legs y MRK for a backyard barbeque, I zonked out before 11 pm.
Did that have anything to do with day? Don't think so. I walk most places. Then again, it's not everyday I act the part of a cheesecake junkie, err, I mean, gourmand. A bevy of NYC bloggers gathered at Corie's Park Slope apartment for the gluttonous act of determining the city's best cheesecake. Beside's Jimmy Legs, I only knew those present through their blogs. The panel of experts included Tien, Dahlia, Sam, Laid-off Dad and Linus. And how sweet it was.
A dozen or so samples were laid across a table for us oh-so scientific vultures to swoop down upon. We lacked empiricism and rubrics, yes, rubrics, one of the topics of conversation (another, tax codes) on what was one of the first beautiful days of the season—our tastebuds nothwithstanding. I was enamored with the Monteleone cake, light and airy with the sensual taste of ricotta. My pineapple submission was, of course, my second favorite. Alas, the pineapple cheesecake schlepped from Astoria only received one vote, and it wasn't even mine. (The Cake Man Raven sample, brought by Mr. Legs, came out on top.) I didn't get to vote, as Jessie and I ducked out early to go engagement ring shopping at Clay Pot. Jessie found one, by the way, and quickly turned to finding me a wedding band. Of course, I don't care what my ring looks like as long as Dollface is happy.
More on the Cheesecake Challenge:
Corie onThe Results Are In
Tien on Cheesecake Challenge
Linus on Smile and Say “Cheesecake”
Joe on The Cheesecake Challenge!
Jimmy Legs on You got served
And the reason why we stuffed ourselves here.

